This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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