I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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