awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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