Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
