My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
