we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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