he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
