is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
