Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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