i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
