Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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