If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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