eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
