Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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