Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
