At least make sure they are 18
Why
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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