Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
love makes seman taste better
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
