It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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