He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I party with great urgency now.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
