I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Why is your signature on my underwear?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
