dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
