remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
