Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Dicks are not precious.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
