how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
