The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
