My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
