i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Randomize
