batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
