That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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