those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
