wanna go halves on a baby?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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