At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
you would pick up someone in the library
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
