What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
