It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
