What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize