But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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