I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
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