Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
