i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
