my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
