She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
