why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I lost the right to judge tonight
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
