You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
