I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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