i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
