whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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