he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize