sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
