I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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