so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
