So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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