I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
