I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize