i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
