Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
