I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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