Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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