and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No subtext here. People are naked.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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