Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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