he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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