It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Swine flu is the new snow day.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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