dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
