trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize