And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
